Entry log #3: Trying the Other Shoe

On my very first blog, I mentioned that my thoughts would revolve around a few things. In this one, I want to revolve my girlfriend, Hannah. Honestly, I didn’t have anything to talk about this week, but I want to keep up with the routine of making at least one post each week. But as I was looking through my folders on my laptop, trying to see what I could talk about, I thought of one thing that was important this week. This passed Wednesday, July 26, Hannah and I celebrated our first year anniversary of being together. It was a special night for me and her. Since Monday, Hannah has been having back and hip pain and I had everything prepared and planned out for our anniversary since late May. Even though she was in major pain and she can’t really walk and she can’t leave her aunt’s house, I still manage to adapt to the situation, and still give her a wonderful night that I hope she will cherish forever.

Hannah and I may not be normal, which we are totally not aiming for, but we freaking weird, honestly haha. We have gone through some troubles, but what doesn’t kills us makes us stronger. And that’s exactly what happens every time we get into a problem. We get closer, stronger, and caring. We try our best to be there for each other.

Since we started dating, I remember her telling me everything she has gone through: her experiences with her family since childhood, the friends she had, the exes, her depression, her good moments, her doubts, etc. When she first told me all these things at the same time, I felt overwhelmed and a bit uncomfortable, which is hard to do onto me. However, over time, I started to accept for who she is. Up to this day, I’m still in love with who she is. There’s nothing that I would change about her. The experiences she obtained are what shaped her. Unfortunately, not every of her experiences were positive, though. Actually most of those experiences were negative.

When we started dating, I was evaluating myself if I actually love her or pitied her. Any relationship that is created because of one pity-ness towards the other is not going to work. Most of the time, from my experiences. No one likes to be pitied on when they are going through a situation, because most of the time those who try to help usually end up talking about an experiences that they had that sounds similar to what the pitied is going or has gone through, or give their opinion. I am known to be a listener, whether I am a good or bad listener, I like to listen to people. And I feel like many people lack listening-skills.

One thing that I learned through listening is this:

IT. IS. NOT. ABOUT. YOU.

Like I said, a lot of times, people try to help those who are in distressed by giving an experience that sounds similar or give an opinion, for the sake of not making awkward silences or actually trying to help. Unless you have experiences that are 99.999999%  similar to the other… don’t bother. Whenever someone doesn’t get the memo, I usually tell them, “if you really want to help, the best you can do is JUST LISTEN. Unless I ask for your experience and/or opinion, just listen.

Up to this day, I try to be a good listener to my Hannah. I want to see things from her perspective so that I may effectively help her. I do not want to pity her, I want to help her and understand her completely.

So here’s one thing everyone should try. Just listen to a love one, see where they are coming from. You’ll be surprised how much being quiet and listening can help.

Entry log #2: Out of place

Whenever I head to a new place or meet new people, my body sets itself to behave differently. The environment and the familiarity of the people are the triggers that cause my behavior. And the behavior isn’t bad, in my opinion. I just catch myself doing it at the moment.

This is how I act:

Number one, I become the nice guy. Of course this is how everyone should be when they’re coming into a new environment. And that’s because we don’t want to disrespect anyone and give the wrong impression. You never know if they could be a connection who could be useful in the future. For me, it comes with being raised in a Christian, Hispanic family. Respect everyone, especially elders. However, there’s a limit on how much I interact. I only give the “hello, God bless you brother/sister,” “thank you,” “you’re welcome,” and “God bless, goodbye.” I usually just let people come to me if they want an interaction, which supports my second characteristic of my fixed-behavior.

Number two, I’m hella awkward and timid. And I mean very, very, very awkward and timid. And to avoid that, I minimize my interaction with people unless they come to me. And if you’re a friend, no matter at which level of friendship, I’m going to be myself to you. So far, only a hand full of individuals have been able to accept my weirdness haha.

Number three, isolate myself. Even though I admit that I’m a loner, I’m not a complete loner that isolate from the world. It’s part of minimizing my interaction. The way I see it, if someone has the gut to talk to me, then I’ll be real with them. And I hope that we establish some kind of relationship because I like people, most of the time. If no one approaches, then either I try to interact just one person that looks promising or I just stay by myself.

I don’t know if everyone goes through those… but it’s how I do it.

Honestly, I much prefer the relationships I have now. Most of them are weird themselves and we get along with each other.

If we think about it, we are weird ourselves in our own way. So embrace it, and you may see who are your friends.

Entry Log #1: Hello World!

Hey there! So this is my very first blog post, and honestly I don’t even know how to start a good, first post. However, I’m going to do my best to introduce myself in a non-awkward manner. Here are some “to-know-about” things that I feel like my entries would revolve around:

  • I am a student at the University of Maryland in College Park (thinking about transferring though)
  • I was raised in a Christian-based family
  • I love to love people
  • I enjoy learning anything that is music, politics (kinda), and STEM related subjects
  • I have a wonderful girlfriend
  • Total ambivert
  • and I am a thinker, not so sure about being a deep nor a complete random thinker, but I am a thinker

Now, here’s one “to-know” thing that I believe is important to me that I’d like to share with you: I am heavy on authenticity.

Authenticity is something I care about most about when it comes to… well, basically everything. And I believe authenticity is one of the things that people of this modern era cares the most. We kind of despise those who aren’t legit, in which we label them as “Fake.” I can’t really promise anything for the most part, especially keeping up with posting entries. However, I promise to be authentic to you guys whenever I do post. There will be times when I just go straight to the point and there will be times when I may write 50 chapters on a particular topic (Well, not that long, but pretty lengthy if I’m in that zone). Oh, one thing to the note, I’m not good with grammar or anything that’s within the realm of English.

Now, you may be wondering why I called my blog “Life Wonderer.” Firstly, it sounds nice. Secondly, it kind of fits to my purpose of writing this blog: document, observe, and analyze the different chapters of my life. Because I’m a ambivert, sometime things may or may not be hyped as much as I want it to be. I already have some things to talk about, but those will come sooner or later. SUSPENSE!!! DON DON DDOOOOOONNNNNNNN!!!

Now, I don’t know everything is happening in the world. I’d appreciate any ideas that you’d like me to talk about. I’d like for you to be honest with me, and like everyone in the world, I have things to improve on.

Until then, live lively!